a fly on the wall

You can find out so much when you just listen. It's true, ask someone that looks like they have a lot on their mind, "how are you doing?" and by the end of their full response, you'll know their entire life story. It's amazing how much people really want to tell you what they feel is important, or funny, or sad.  After years of mostly answering dumb ass questions in the club, I've mastered the art of 'shut the fuck up'! I've always been a watcher of some sort. I think that's why I got into photography so heavy and it's kind of relieving to let everything else do the talking for a change. 

I don't go out nearly as much as I used to but it seems like I'm always catching wind of what's going on around me. I know everyone lives with some sort of regret, knowing that some mistakes were the best you could have made, and some that should have been avoided all together.  It was late last night when I got a call from one of my favorite people lately. After the conversation got rolling, I realized that this was one of those times... for me. It's a hard pill to swallow that my past judgment of people has been questionable. It's my reason alone why I gravitated towards certain people but for countless reasons, I wish I could erase my acute affiliation with the involved person. 

How is it possible to feel emotions for other people? Feeling what that they should when they don't have the balls to? I'm not entirely sure of the answer to that question [even though I'm capable of doing it] but I felt nothing but embarrassment for them. I know, well I thought I knew this person. I know what they bring to the table and my opinion was that they were as stand up as anyone I knew at the time. Turns out, that there's just a little too many bitch-like tendencies that I didn't know actually existed. I listened and laughed at the punk-passiveness that they witnessed but the emotion that underlined spelled: I-W-I-S-H-I-N-E-V-E-R-M-E-T-H-I-M-A-T-A-L-L. And it was so real because now I felt tricked. I never would have thought that a grown ass man would send a spokes model to talk to another grown ass man. About anything, let alone asking for a job. Urgh! 

After I finished my laugh and quiet introspection, I was asked advice about a separate situation. I'm not sure what it is about men taking professional advice from a woman, but let's just say it was no longer fun and games on the other end. I gave an experienced opinion on the situation that wasn't appreciated and reminded myself of my new practice: 

         the art of 'shut the fuck up'

            lesson 1: be like a fly on the wall