I woke up this morning to the best gift of all. And I mean it. Life is simply the best thing going for me. I heard from all the people who mattered to me the most and re connected with some friends and family members that I haven't talked to in a while. I feel like it's the end of a long road of confusion and I can start another difficult one. But that's ok, if the outcome is as sweet as it is now. If I had to decribe the feeling of the day it would be peaceful. I got up early and did exactly what I wanted: watch movies, snacked on biscuits and jelly, and text my Carmen, D, and Jordan. I was glad that it was warm outside and I kept the balcony door open. That evening was dinner with the Mr. at one of my favorite spots. We got last minute reservations with no problem [considering it was Saturday evening in Atlanta], and was seated at the perfect table outside with the skyline view.
I had the pork with backed macaroni and cheese, salmon chips with capers and cream cheese [appetizer], and cranberry/apple cobbler for dessert. I tried a new martini that tasted like spiked, peach flavored tea, and had me talking extra by the end of the first one.
I have cut down my drinking dramatically [yay! so proud!] but it's kinda scary because I still drink at the same rate= little drunken girl gettin' it on the dance floor. I have to literally space my drinks out with a tall glass of water.
Other coincidences happened today: Chantrelle's had the "good" soul food sides, the hood fair is in town, and everyone had to turn their watches up an hour.
Notice I didn't mention anything about gifts or anything material because a.] it's not about that and b.] it's none of your business! I just don't find it necessary to find birthdays or new years to make changes or get a gift, if there's the rest of year to get the same results. I went through the whole hoopla of the birthday last year....
march 10, 2008
I had made plans to go to club Dreamz with my 'best friend' to celebrate both of our birthdays. We had been talking on the phone all day, even though we were
both separately with our sweeties and had been looking forward to going to the club. I went to the mall just in case I saw something I just 'had' to get, even picked up these ridiculous ' i heart my bff' buttons for us to wear. Evening came and I continued to text my friend to let her know of the status of my preparation. It was time to go and I jumped in the car to head to the restaurant where her and her guy were eating. I called her on the phone to learn that they were in the midst of an argument. He was one of those guys that liked to control women through subtle manipulation. In tonight's case: let's start a fight. I just wasn't aware that she was actually going to fall for it! And of course he brings in his 4 year old daughter into the mix. And she falls for that! Needless to say, she ended up leaving with him and I ended up riding out to the club dolo. Which I don't mind doing from time to time. I met the nicest white people in vip and they made up for my flaky friend.
I didn't want to go through the anxiety of setting up a bday week or put months in with a high roller to ensure an expensive gift. I figure what might go wrong usually does and if I had to pick a day to jinx myself with high expectations it would not be on my birthday. Last year taught me that even your friends could let you down, so I just let whoever wanted to be a part of my day, be involved voluntarily. As a result, I got surprises along the way. "Gabby" gave me reassurance and a message from my Dad. We talked for about 5 hours straight, but didn't feel like we even scratched the surface. Blak let me know how important friendships are and reminded me that you need to always let the people you love know you love them; because tomorrow isn't guaranteed. It seems to be so easy to forget the people who see you when you're down, during the times when you actually need help. Being in that position is a very humbling experience and most end up feeling more embarrassed by their journey than triumphant.
Even though we all fall, it looks much better on paper to say you've made all the right, integrous choices that never left you assed out or exposed.
I thought I was forgotten about. Ever since I decided to hang up my dancing shoes, a lot of people started acting differently towards me and even some of the friends I had met during those years have distanced themselves. Maybe they feel we don't have anything to talk about. I dunno. Most people have been so wrapped up in their own issues that it didn't leave much energy for anyone else. I can relate to that completely. All the unexpected calls from people wishing my a happy birthday and to hear that those that matter love and think about me often felt good. To know where I stand in the hearts of my loved ones.
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