Discipline.

The ultimate way to prove to yourself no matter the circumstances, you can accomplish any goal that's set. It's also the reason why the fridge looks like the produce section of Whole Foods. 

The guys came down just in time for New Years and to do this. I've never been very disciplined. Over the years, I've never had a steady skin care regime, I worked out in spurts, my clothes and room pretty much stayed untidy and unwashed unless I had company or needed clean underwear. I've never worn make up until now or made it habit to get my hair done. I'm a bit lazy. That, and I just don't see the point. Some of these habits have changed with age, but I still remain a tad shiftless. Mom is one of the biggest procrastinators I know but still does a 40 day fruits and vegetables fast to focus her mind for the New Year. The guys figure if they can get through 11 days, the rest of the year is pretty much theirs.

   There's no wrong reason to set personal goals, I personally haven't got one in particular... hence no resolutions in the previous post but I plan on being more concrete by my birthday. Anyway, I totally support what they're doing. I just hope its truly mind over matter while I continue to flip pancakes and fry pork chops. Hopefully he'll let me post some footage through this fruit and water fast. Yeah, confessionals and all. Should be funny. They usually are. I dunno, I guess if I had to do a 'fast' of some sort it would have something to do with love. I'm not trying to get rid of it, actually I want to do it more, but with more provisions about how I distribute it.  I've never had a problem being friends with my ex's [weird huh?] and I've never fell so far from grace that I've lost their love. But my problem is longing for that comfort zone. When I'm feeling lonely or want some temporary act right it's so tempting to want to go back to that 'old thing'. You know it, loved it, and can guarantee an enthusiastic visit. But what I want isn't exactly what I need. And in certain situations love isn't enough. This goes with friends as well. I have a super soft spot for misguided souls who always need answers. But I have to remember that I'm dealing with people here, not puppies. It would be nice to be able to be yourself around someone who's somewhat like you that actually stays true. Well it would be! It seems like if you didn't grow up with someone, all bets are off. I've moved 4 times during my adolescence and if the last statement I just made is true, I guess I'm screwed.   So I guess to translate the last spiel, use my head in combination with my heart. Being able to feel is something I never want to stop practicing everyday. So that part is definitely here to stay.